juxtapose: (M/A 2)
PART III: "Stay With Me, Just For Now"
Pairing/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Freya
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Reincarnation
Word Count: 4992
Summary: In which the last words Merlin said to Arthur before he died had been more than mere words, and maybe Arthur and Merlin’s reunion was meant to happen, but for the first time Destiny had absolutely nothing to do with it. But it appears Destiny wants its King back...
Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Everything is right again. Until it isn't. )
juxtapose: made by me (M/A)
PART I: "You Found Me (Why'd you have to wait?)"
Wrote this as a nice little fix-it for Tumblr. Merlin's been waiting a long while. Turns out he finds what he's looking for--or maybe it's the other way around?--when he's leaving Starbucks in the middle of winter.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!

It's the twenty-first century. )

Or read it here on AO3.

PART II: Save Me, I'm Lost
In which Merlin has found his Arthur again--but while his King's spirit lay sleeping, things have changed. Not just in the surrounding world, but in Merlin, who's had to watch it all go by.
Disclaimer: I do not own BBC Merlin.

Give him time, Merlin. )

Or read it here on AO3.
juxtapose: (M/A 2)
Title: Knowing
Author: JLT/Jenna/graydorians/juxtapose/caughtfire (lol multiple accounts)
Summary: 'Merlin can’t help but question: Why do I bother hiding? It will only hurt him worse if I wait. It will hurt us both. Why does it have to be like this? Why can’t he see? Sometimes I think he knows . . . and other times . . .
Notes: Well, I haven't written for Merlin in ages, and with the end of the show I'm a bit inspired. Here goes.
Rating/Genre: PG-13
Pairing/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, tiny mention of Arthur/Guinevere
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Sometimes Merlin wonders. )
juxtapose: (Default)
Death is a lady who knows my name.
We are not friends, but all the same
she slithers by, the dreadful dame
and looks me in the eye.

She takes my dreams in wrinkly hands,
and, drifting, we explore the sands
of somber souls. I can't understand
the words in their collective cry.

Death memorized my mother's tears,
Sister's worn gaze beyond her years
My suffocating, coiling fears--
she wrings them out to dry.

Many times, I have wished for Death
to guide me to my final breath
before this body's twentieth.
But she did not comply.

'Stead she took those who sewed my seeds,
despite my despair-coated pleas.
She snatched their souls, she watched them bleed
and let them up to fly.

The Lady Death whispers my name
but I wait for her choke-hold in vain.
She keeps me watching her twisted game
'til her touch lets me die.

(JLT 2012)
juxtapose: (Default)
Your hands are big and spread wide
to hold your many thoughts.
You move like a cartoon skeleton,
choppy limbs and pale, toothy grins.
And you know what you are.
You know what you are.

When you stride into a room
the walls stop to listen
to the way your seamless words tie in
the workings of your working mind.
And you know what you are.
You know what you are.

Your journey here is ending,
you want to fly away.
The world's too tiny for everything
your imagination longs for.
And you know what you are.
You know what you are.

I have swam in all your words,
the colors of your mind.
I want to take your big hands in mine,
before you take the blue road home.
But you know what you are.
I don't know what I am.

JLT 2012
juxtapose: (Default)
Title: Touch
Author: Jenna/juxtapose/graydorians
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Characters: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Summary: Tony is touchy. Steve doesn't know why.
Disclaimer: Marvel owns these characters and, at this point, probably my soul.

Tony always says, 'I don't like to be handed things.' )
juxtapose: (Default)
Title: "Through Chaos as it Swirls"
Author: JLT/juxtapose/graydorians
Pairing(s): Steve/Tony, Happy Hogan/Pepper Potts, Jane Foster/Thor, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Genre: angst, fluff, gen
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Anthony Edward Stark is dead. The country mourns a hero; The Avengers mourn a friend and ally, and Steve Rogers mourns the one person he thought he could love. Meanwhile, one of the realms of Asgard is now home to a new face.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except any original characters you might see me throw in along the line.

Here is the work in its entirety.

INDIVIDUAL CHAPTERS:

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3| Chapter 4

Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8
juxtapose: (Default)
Our summer moves in pieces.
There are highs like the sun,
lows like the slow-coming dusk.
Days melt like degrees, taking with
them all the dreams that bloomed
in springtime that we tried to sow.

Our summer does not wait for us--
its staggered breaths are steady-moving
across our timelines, and we watch it
skip away. It lurches ahead,
freezing in long bouts of sweat and
self-awareness.

Our summer--as we now see--
is not ours.
It is its own entity, and in
it sslick, warm movements
and bitter yellow truths, it defines us.
And now, we stand wih the leaves
side-by-side,
and wait to fall.
juxtapose: (Default)
Title: "Intentions"
Author: JLT/juxtapose/graydorians
Pairing/Characters: Steve/Tony
Rating: PG-13
Genre: so much fluff you could die.
Summary: It's no secret Tony talks to his robots. Steve's just never actually seen this in action before. Until now.
Notes: I made up a third robot. For some reason I think Tony would have a robot named Spike. Judge me. Also, this could be read to take place in the "Must've Done Something Right" series, or could be a stand-alone.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Steve Rogers had really, honestly intended to be annoyed with Tony Stark. )
juxtapose: (Default)
Title: "And this is going to be (the best thing we've ever seen)"
Author: JLT/juxtapose/graydorians
Pairing/Characters: Steve/Tony
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Summary: In which Steve and Tony finally have a real conversation. Part 5/5 of "Must've Done Something Right."
Disclaimer: I own nothing!

You're impossible, Tony. )
juxtapose: (Default)
Title: "I see changes (in the most unexpected places)"
Author: JLT/juxtapose/graydorians
Pairing/Characters: Steve/Tony, Pepper Potts, Bruce Banner
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Summary: In which Pepper Potts is no fool, Bruce Banner gives some advice however uncomfortable he might be about it, and things are changing.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!

This is how it is, now. )
juxtapose: (Default)
Title: "And I saw sparks"
Author: JLT/juxtapose/graydorians
Pairing/Characters: Steve/Tony
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Summary: Steve Rogers always makes sure that the mission comes first. Of course Tony Stark had to come in and screw all that up, didn't he? Part three of the "Must've Done Something Right" series.
Notes: Title is from Coldplay's "Sparks." Also AIM is one of the villains the Avengers face at some point in the comics; they're not necessarily these Avengers but I used their name for my liking.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Red and gold and fire. )
juxtapose: (Default)
Title: "You'll Never Know (If You Don't Know Now)"
Author: JLT/juxtapose/graydorians
Pairing/Characters: Steve/Tony
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff, angst.
Summary: Obligatory Tony-teaches-Steve-how-to-dance fic. Part two of the "Must've Done Something Right" series.
Notes: The song I used is, indeed, real, and was one of the top songs of the 1940's according to Billboard charts. It is called "You'll Never Know", and the original version can be found here for your listening pleasure.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!

I’m really not sure this is a good idea. )
juxtapose: (Default)
Title: "Lost (waiting til the shine wears off)"
Author: JLT/juxtapose/graydorians
Pairing/Characters: slight Steve/Tony
Rating: PG-13
Summary: In which Tony Stark gives a little advice he didn't know he had in him, and Steve Rogers seeks out help from the one person he never dreamed he would. Part one of "Must've Done Something Right" series.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Today is going to be a good day. )
juxtapose: (S&J)
Title: "Notes on the Mantelpiece"
Author: JLT/juxtapose/graydorians
Pairing/Characters: Sherlock/John
Rating: PG-13
Summary: John and Sherlock start writing notes to each other, and come to find that some truths are easier scrawled on a piece of paper than said aloud.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Get milk. )
juxtapose: (Default)
Two men sit on a train.

Upon boarding, they appraise each other in a scowl of recognition as if to say, Well, I guess I’m stuck with you for the duration of this trip. The taller, lankier (and younger) of the two glides to claim the window seat. The other plops beside him, running a hand over his scruffy face and making sure to avoid any more eye contact than absolutely necessary. He holds a cane tightly in his hand as he leans forward to adjust his seat. He says nothing, because he has a policy concerning interacting with people (especially strangers), in that he tries to avoid it at all costs. The tall man seems to agree with these silent terms, for he turns his head to the window without a word as the cart begins to move.

What each doesn’t know about the other is that while he may not be talking, secretly, he’s watching.

About ten minutes into the trip, the man at the window takes a peek at the stranger beside him filling out some type of form concerning personal effects of a loved one. Observes the man signing his name. Curious.

Thirty-four minutes later finds the scruffy man peering peripherally at the other, who has a world map spread out on the tray in front of him as he pinpoints certain locations with a red pen. Interesting.

Questions race through each man’s mind, though they are not verbalized. Observations of each detail become scrawled mental notes. And by the time an hour has passed, intrigue is near killing them both, though the stoic expressions on both men’s faces reveal no such thing.

A few more dragging moments and then the older man pipes up in a gravelly drawl: “The Big Apple, huh?”

Ice blue eyes meet a cooler azure. “Yes.” English accent. Irritable. “We should arrive in approximately two hours.”

“And who’re you going to find there?”

The Englishman blinks once, but if he’s phased he doesn’t show it. “I’m sorry?”

There’s a slight spark in the older man’s eyes then; the Englishman’s question invites him in. He tilts back in his seat, folding his hands behind his head. His cane jostles between his and the Englishman’s knees as he says, seemingly in one swift breath, “You’ve marked that up that map all in red. If you were going on a nice little vacation you would be traveling to at least some major cities. These are mostly minor, secluded, pretty much insignificant to the average traveler. Each dot on that map marks the location of a person you want to find. The question is why. You need them for something. Dead? Alive? Oh.” He licks his lips. “You’ve marked when you want to hit these places in the margin. Just so you know . . . I don’t think anyone has actually gone around the world in eighty days. But good luck trying. Give yourself a star sticker. You deserve it.”

The Englishman’s nostrils flare. Two can play this game, he thinks. “Well, while we’re on the subject of motives, I should wonder why you’re here. You’ve recently lost someone you care about. You signed those release papers slowly, in an unsure, shaky manner, suggesting your signature is unfamiliar to you. It’s because it’s new. You’ve created a new identity for yourself recently. Furthermore the person you’ve lost is of upmost importance to you. Otherwise you wouldn’t risk going to so public a place and letting him—it was a ‘he’, judging by the list of effects including a set of cufflinks from his grandfather—place you in charge of the aftermath of his death. I say ‘public’ because you’re at great risk coming to New York when New Jersey is so close in proximity. You are from New Jersey, correct? The fine print on your walking stick credits a specific location which sells such items, and the address reads Princeton-Plainsboro, New Jersey. You wouldn’t send for something personalized to your needs like this when you could buy it locally.”

Silence.

Silence, as each man realizes there’s another like him in the world, an idea neither ever thought tangible. A combination of frustration and intense curiosity fills the air.

The Englishman says, finally, “Who are you?”

The man beside him replies, “I’m no one. Not anymore.”

“Nor am I.”

The man with the cane sniffs a little to break another bout of quiet. The Englishman stares at him with an almost uncomfortable intensity as he remarks, “You’re running from something.”

“Everyone’s always running from something,” is the reply, “What matters is what they’re running to, in the end.”

“Oh? And what are you running to?”

The scruffy man tilts his head back against the seat again. “Something new. A change.” He turns a little, cocks an eyebrow. “That deep and meaningful enough for you?”

“That doesn’t matter to me.” The Englishman’s eyes harden. “The truth is what matters. You’re clearly operating under a false name, whisking yourself away to New York.”

His companion smirks a little, whimsically, and retorts simply: “Everybody lies.”

The Englishman contemplates this for a sliver of a second. He shifts in his seat, curiosity all but pumping through his very veins now. Who was this elusive man who could scrounge through the details like he could, picking and prying at all the important bits? The tiny fractions that matter?

He says, “You’ve had problems with your leg for some time. Muscle infraction, I presume?” (He watches the other man’s expression flicker in surprise for a small moment.) “That cane is worn out but not enough that you’ve had it too long. You’ve had many. This has been an ongoing, gradual injury, not a healing bone or arthritis with age, so one can assume muscular. Leg injuries are easy to spot.”

The scruffy man blinks. “Are you waiting for me to say how impressed I am?” He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a small white bottle, popping a few white pills into his mouth with a throw of his head.

“Should you be, doctor?”

“Okay. Seriously? How did you--”

The Englishman looks away. “Steady hands. It was one of the first things I observed about John when I . . .” He suddenly stops, memories cutting into his speech.

Now it’s the other’s turn to observe: “Well. Seems like you’ve lost someone too. Join the club.”

“No.” The Englishman shakes his head. “He lost me.”

A new kind of quiet rains down on the pair, now. It is not the silence of a challenge, but of understanding. Two men almost too alike in nature, letting their analyses fall to a lull because this is no longer a competition. This is relating to someone when there’s no one else left.

The doctor says finally, “You were wrong before. I’m not running anywhere. I just spent the last five months of my best friend’s life with him, and now I’m starting my own. But you . . .” He leans in to those large blue eyes. “You are on the run. And you’re regretting it. But you don’t have a choice.”

It is an interesting thing: two men so alike in nature, yet one observes the facts within the details, while the other deduces the emotions behind them.

It is as if the invisible wall holding the Englishman together falters a bit, eyes shining with something like sadness. “Yes. I am running. Only to find the means to run back again.”

“Hmm.” There is another long pause as the train carries on chugging. Then, ringing in the pattern of enduring movement, are the doctor’s five words to end their conversation in hopes he can finally stump the man who’s known him so little and yet knows so much: “Faking your own death sucks.”

He cannot see the Englishman’s face turned toward the window, but he is smiling as he replies in a barely audible voice, “Doesn’t it just?”

Detective Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Gregory House sit on a train, each feeling just a bit less lonely than before.
juxtapose: (S&J)
Title: "And I took you by the hand (and we stood tall)"
Author: Jenna/juxtapose/graydorians lol multiple accounts
Summary: For every person in the world, there’s another whose hand fits perfectly in theirs.
Characters/Pairing: Sherlock/John, brief John/OFC
Genre: Angst and fluff.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Touch. Clasp. Squeeze. Release. Repeat. )
juxtapose: (S&J)
Title: Fifteen Messages
Author: Jenna/juxtapose/graydorians lol multiple accounts
Summary: John has fifteen voicemail messages he just can't delete.
Characters/Pairing: Sherlock/John mostly platonic sort of kind of
Genre: Angst to the high heaven.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
THE PERSONAL BLOG OF DR. JOHN H. WATSON )
juxtapose: (Default)
Purgatory is a gravelly road.

Some are told it’s a purifying flame, others that it’s where the ghosts of their unrested loved ones reside. Dante called it a tall mountain. But in reality, it is a very long, very lonely road.

You might say it’s nothing, that walking is a simple task compared to what you’ve got to do in life to end up doing it. But here’s the tricky bit: you don’t ever stop walking. Not until the folks Upstairs think you’re ready to move on (if ever).

And here’s what else: there is no destination. Each step you take brings you further away and closer still to Nothing. Nothing, until you’re Called.

I do not know what day it is, or how long I’ve been Here. Time is different in this place. I think it may not exist at all, or if it does, it moves like tiny ants across a green field (slowly, even as your legs move faster than wildfire).

A breeze grazes my shoulder, and Clare is beside me. Clare died on the 15th of August in a year she can no longer remember, and has eyes the color of water when it reflects the moon. Clare is the reason I do not walk alone.

(I don’t think she belongs here.)

She syncs her steps with my rhythmic, long strides. In my mind I hear her voice, quiet with turned-up syllables: Hello. Where are you headed?

It’s a joke we have. We joke in Purgatory. Sometimes. Oh, you know. Anywhere.

The tease of a smile flits across her lips as Clare maneuvers her way around a man curled up on the pavement below us. He will not stay there long. He’s not allowed. The pull of the Road will compel his feet to move again. It always does.

The scuffing sounds of our feet, and those of the people behind and in front of us, have a beat to them that charges through my head like a drum in the corners of my mind. I can’t remember silence. There is no silence Here. Just never-ending shuffling.

Clare takes my hand. I don’t recall what affection is supposed to be like, but I think I remember warmth. Clare’s hand is not warm. But neither is mine. I squeeze it anyway, though neither of us have had true hands to touch for a very long time.

I hear, What do you think Heaven is like?, and it’s a question she asks me frequently of which I have no answer. So each time she asks, I change my response.

Like constant warmth, and I think of our entwined fingers and how they might feel different Up There.

She seems satisfied with this. We swing our arms to and fro to the beat of our shuffle as the unforgiving sun beats down heavy on our backs. The sun doesn’t go away Here, doesn’t leave a trail for the moon to follow in the night. I don’t remember much of night, besides a distant fragment of that pale moon over the bay I see in Clare’s eyes.

Tell me what you remember, I say to her, of being human.

She’s told me dozens of times before, but I like to hear it anyway. Clare looks at me, tilting her head thoughtfully. Melodic, here it comes:

I remember sunshine that didn’t hurt. I remember walking to where you want to go, or running into fields of grass or into someone’s arms. I remember smiling, and making others smile. And then, something new: I remember . . . I remember loving others, the kind of love that made my heart full. The kind where the only thing that mattered was making someone happy, even just for a moment.

This throws me. I wrack my brain, trying to understand. Clare’s eyes are wide now, wide with a realization I grasp at desperately to no avail.

I look up at the bloody sky and reply, Love. But the word is tangled in my thoughts.

Love, she says, We are walking for love. To learn to love, and to be loved again.

And then It happens.

The Light comes, streaking through the perpetually orange sky and cascading onto Clare like a waterfall.

The others around me stop to watch, knowing full well they’ll need to move again soon. But when someone has been Called, it’s worth the pause.

Clare has been Called, I realize. Whispers fill the air, sweetly soft and fluttering around Clare like a blanket of song. I’m not allowed to know of what they speak. But the look of surprise on Clare’s face, melting into a look of sheer peace, gives me most of what I need to know.

And then she is moving.

(Up, up, up, letting go of my hand. I find myself reaching up to her, as if I alone have strength enough to tether her here despite the forces of angels.)

I think I hear my name in her crystal voice, and the last of her I see are those blue moon eyes.

She is gone. The tread begins again. I remain still for a small moment, however, despite the pull to keep moving.

I understand, now. I would listen to Clare’s recollections because I had none of my own. I cannot remember. This is all I know.

Clare remembered the Goodness that I couldn’t. The humanity I can’t fathom.

Goodbye, Clare, are the words in my head, but they can’t reach her where she’s gone.

Purgatory is a gravelly road.

I keep walking, my steps seeming to echo louder than before.
juxtapose: (S&J)
Title: The Coat (That was Also a Blanket. And a Metaphor)
Author: JLT/Jenna/graydorians/juxtapose/caughtfire (lol multiple accounts)
Summary: John is cold. Sherlock has a large swishy coat. Burrowing himself into that large swishy coat (and, as a result, Sherlock) leads to a great deal of realization for one John Watson.
Pairing/Characters: Sherlock/John
Genre: So much fluff you could die.
Notes: This little fic is based off this lovely drawing by sdkay on tumblr.
Disclaimer: Don't own Sherlock.

But hell, is John bloody freezing. )

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